Only a few days ago, Shawn approached the familiar counter at his local Texaco station. Our heroine from volume 1, who had been notably absent from work for several months, was back at her post. Shawn was delighted.
"Where have you been?" he wondered.
"Maternity leave. I had a baby. Almost died havin it."
"What? Wow!"
"I was standing in my bathroom one night, and I look down, and there's blood everywhere. My husband called 911 and when they got there I was sprawled out. I had lost 86 percent of my blood! They pronounced me dead on the scene."
"Oh my gosh."
"Next thing them doctors knew, I was up changin my clothes. They couldn't believe it. I said, 'I'm havin this d*&% baby! They took me to the hospital and I had it. They had to give me 8 units of blood."
"That's unbelievable."
After inquiring about the baby, Shawn grabbed his Dr. Pepper, returned to his truck and immediately phoned several friends.
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3 comments:
I'm still doubled over from this. Amazing.
If only she'd been squatting naked! Now, then we'd have a birth story.
She must watch a lot of House and E.R. to know and correctly use so much medical vernacular.
Ahh, this lady's hysteria gets more enjoyable at every reading. I had to look up this morning what is a normal volume of blood. That would be 14-18 pints. Also, a pint is a unit. Therefore is she had lost 86% of her blood and was given back 8 units then she would still be 4-7 units about (25%) short. Unless she has a blood volume of 9-10 units. (Is she short or wrinkly? I don't really know that wrinkly people have less blood, but they look like they do.)
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